Whether you are a seasoned Catholic or new to the Church, I think we could all use some tips on how to survive Mass with young children.
I am a Catholic revert, so my kids didn’t start attending Mass until our oldest was 9 and our youngest was 1. They were only ever used to going to “sunday school” while mom and dad got to sit peacefully in service, sipping coffee. Those days are long behind us as we have journeyed back into the Catholic Church. While the transition has been absolutely beautiful, it has, at times, been an absolute struggle as well. Our kids do not know how to sit still. But they’re learning, so there is hope!
What to bring along to survive Catholic Mass with young children?
Bringing along a couple “tools in your toolbox” (or rather, diaper bag) can help you survive Mass with young children. For reference, we have the expectation with our kids age 4 and older to sit still and listen. They are not allowed to play with toys. You may pick a different age for this and that’s great! For our kids younger than 4, we have found a few things that work. Bringing a few (quiet) toys for our young kids has been really helpful. Things like cloth books, board books, teethers, little toy horses (my daughters love horses), pop-its, and mini stuffed animals are great.
I remember as a kid my dad would bring an old disconnected flip phone for my brother to play with. It would keep him quiet the entire time! Inspired by this memory, I brought an old book light that clips onto a book for our youngest to play with. I do not recommend unless you enjoy getting hit in the face, like, really hard.
For our youngest we have also found it very helpful to bring his favorite blanket. He loves any blanket with ties on it, so I’m thinking of making a smaller version that is less bulky to bring along. I have seen other families bring coloring books and crayons, you could try that too! I’ve heard that triangle crayons are key because they can’t roll away. We haven’t tried this because I know almost for certain that our three year old would chuck them at someones head.
When should I take my kids out of Mass if they’re being too loud?
This could vary depending on the parish you go to. I know that some parishes are more family-minded, and others are not. It’s a sad truth but I have seen and heard of positive change in this area! I have noticed that at parishes with lots of big families, you can kind of get away with staying in your pew for longer than you might at a parish that has fewer families and isn’t accustomed to kids being kids.
I like to try and be mindful to everyone including the priest (I am probably TOO mindful sometimes, can you relate?) Priests really do amaze me at the level of noise they can tolerate though! So for me, I will only step out if a child is either crying for an extended period of time, or if they are being especially unruly. Our youngest is in a stage of “not wanting to be held”, so it’s kind of like wrestling an alligator. I do not step out if my child is just shouting because they enjoy hearing their voice echo, although I do my due diligence to distract said child from shouting whilst holding back my own laughter.
With only ONE exception, I have never ever heard a priest say that it bothers them to hear noise from children. Many have said that the noise is a testament to the growth and legacy of the Church. Without kids, we have no future Church. So if nothing else eases your anxiety in this area, just remember that.
How to survive Catholic Mass with my young children if they think it’s BORING?
We struggled with this for a bit. As reverts/converts to the faith, we had a lot of teaching to do. I have even heard from parents who have raised their kids in the faith from the beginning that this can be a struggle. What I have found to be helpful and seemed to have success with, is to let my children know that God can handle that they think Mass is boring. I am not about putting shame on my children for how they legitimately feel about something. Instead I encourage them to pray, be honest with God about how they feel, and ask Him to help them learn and understand the Mass. I talk about this idea in another post How to pray the rosary with little kids as well!
Whether you homeschool or send your kids to public or private school, you as the parent have the first and foremost responsibility to “do the teaching”. There are so many studies to show that young adults are leaving the catholic church far too often. Many say it’s because their parents failed to pass on a personal, authentic faith to them in the home. If this sounds like a weighty responsibility, good, because it is.
A resource that I have found to be extremely helpful for at home family faith formation for our family is Into the Deep. Their Mass unit study has been especially helpful! We have also done their Hallowtide study and plan to do more! With Advent coming up, this could be just the time to start an at home catechesis routine in your family. I highly encourage you to check them out. These are not affiliate links or anything like that – just me sharing something that I love!
How to survive Catholic Mass with young children if they think it’s SCARY?
This may seem like an odd one but stick with me. IYKYK, sort of thing.
The parish we chose at first when we came into the Church is pretty close in size and decoration to a cathedral. It is HUGE, super high ceilings, all marble and stone. I can see how this could be overwhelming to anyone. It’s big, it echos, it feels cold, I kinda get it. I love the beauty of any Catholic church humble or extravagant. But I think for a lot of people, and maybe especially for kids, this can be a very valid thing to think through! I didn’t realize this in its entirety until we decided to visit a different parish for a Sunday.
The new parish is a lot smaller overall, has lower ceilings, and carpeted floors. I think these make the biggest difference in how the church “feels”. Carpet has its drawbacks for sure, but I love how it absorbs so much sound (great for wiggly kids). It also helps with the acoustics of the church. Our kids commented on how they felt much more comfortable there and it didn’t feel overwhelming at all. I think these are good things to consider when choosing your parish whether you have kids or not. Some might argue that these are trivial matters. All I can say to that is “different strokes for different folks!”
I hope some of these ideas have helped you! What tips or funny experiences do you have with your little ones during Mass? Thanks for being here. Peace be with you! <3